Marveling at stars in the sky, feeling the sand beneath your feet on a quiet beach, a genuine smile from a random person, or hearing a cheesy song from the 90s that just made you giggle. Or dance. These can be “Glimmers.”

A Glimmer is a small moment that sparks joy, happiness, or peace. It can also cause a bit of ease, relaxation, or connection. Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma, coined this term in her 2018 book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy.” She states that “Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm… We’re not talking great, big, expansive experiences of joy or safety or connection, these are micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”

I came across the term Glimmer earlier this year and I’ve been wanting to share it in this blog because I just love this whole concept. I love how it’s the opposite of “Trigger” and it immediately implies a hint of hope. It truly is one of the main reasons why I started Cup of Good over a decade ago before “positivity” became overused and monetized. My singular goal then, and as it still is now, is to make someone smile. 

In a literal sense, dictionaries also define glimmer as “a faint or wavering light.” And I wholeheartedly believe that there is an internal energy, an internal light that must not be ignored. That we must acknowledge and perhaps even cultivate, get into the habit of seeing and feeling. 

Six years ago, when I was experiencing the worst physical pain of my life, my mind automatically switched to a memory I’d long forgotten: a day at the beach where my husband and I gave each other a high-five while we were standing up on our separate boards, surfing on the same wave. It’s from my Glimmer “reserves” if you will. A brief happy moment that turned into a core memory. I didn’t keep that in my back pocket in case of emergencies, but it showed up unexpectedly and it helped me get through the searing pain at the time. I was caught off guard by its sudden appearance, and also, eternally grateful. I have a feeling that the more we recognize Glimmers, the more we’ll have something to draw from or recognize, on those tougher days. 

I’m not an expert Glimmer-finder myself so I’ll end this with a wish for us: 

I hope that we encounter Glimmers today, every day, and most especially on hard days. And maybe, we can also be somebody’s Glimmer for the day too, by being kind, by being compassionate, or by just being there.

With love,
Me